


Ace of Hearts

by dulestric



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Amanai Kanoka-centric, Angst (eventually), Canon Compliant, College, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Post-Time Skip, Sakusa Kiyoomi-centric, Slow Burn, Volleyball, lightly edited, ominai, ominai in college!, sakunoka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:15:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27865218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dulestric/pseuds/dulestric
Summary: a collection of kanoka amanai and kiyoomi sakusa in college (together)."You have potential, Amanai.""Are you satisfied, Sakusa?"
Relationships: Amanai Kanoka & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Amanai Kanoka/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 55





	1. we meet once, and once more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanai Kanoka had just moved to Tokyo for college. She doesn't expect to see a familiar face. Especially not Sakusa Kiyoomi.
> 
> _"Even if it was your loss, you should know what you need to work on." He paused. "You have potential, Amanai." ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, when I was originally outlining this, I didn't expect it to be multi-chapter. But the more I was thinking about them, reading their profiles, and what could have possibly happened in between high school and professional volleyball, I decided, "Hey, you know what? I will put in the effort to psychoanalyze these characters and give them a reason to confide in one another even if it'll take me a million years to finish it." So here we are.
> 
> This first chapter is very Kanoka-centric, but I like me some Kanoka content :D
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Even at the break of dawn, Tokyo never sleeps, Kanoka Amanai thought to herself as she watched the buildings blur into the colors of the sunrise. If she focused hard enough on the window instead of what was outside, she would see her own reflection: tired definitely, somewhat anxious. Mainly because of the stress she’s had moving from Miyagi to Tokyo. The prefecture’s railway system was quite confusing the first time she arrived. Miyagi did not prepare her for city life (of course, since it was far from a city in the first place-); the train lines weren't always a puzzle, everyone knew each other, it was familiar to her. She enjoyed her walks to Niiyama Joshi in the morning, where the birds would flock in the sky and the trees would rustle in the wind. The girls from her volleyball team would join her when they crossed paths along the way, laughing at jokes they made or simply enjoyed ones' company in silence. Simpler times.

But this wasn't Miyagi, this was Tokyo. Even finding her own apartment and the nearest station was a struggle. The streets were always bustling with people and the familiar birds and trees didn't sound the same, if she could hear them at all under all the sound pollution. If it wasn't for the few family members who lived near and the friends she made whenever she would go to Nationals for volleyball, she would not have been able to survive the first few months she had before university started.

Oh right. University. That was where she was headed to after all. Amanai sighed quietly and repositioned herself in her seat at the thought of it. It was a leap to have decided to apply to a university in Tokyo of all places. To be frank, she applied on a whim and didn't expect to be accepted, but on the sliver of hope she had, she wanted to branch out beyond the small world she knew. For most of her life, she had been kept safe in her little bubble, but as a result, she grew up naive and inexperienced. Being a fresh graduate from high school was the perfect opportunity to step away from that. When she found out she made it, she and all her family and friends were ecstatic and urged her to pursue the life in the city she wanted. Amanai felt the nostalgia hit her stomach remembering her friends and family back home, waving to her as she passed the ticket barrier. The memories she made, built up all those years.

A bump in the road snapped her away from her thoughts. Glancing at the sign for the next stop, she saw hers was next and prepared herself to leave, readying her bag that was in her lap and double-checking all of her belongings inside. Amanai tapped her phone to make sure she was still on schedule; it would be a 15-minute walk from the station to her class, and with the time she had left, she assured herself she'd be alright and settled with taking her time to enjoy the scenery. She was glad she decided to leave early and made a mental note to leave again around the same time tomorrow—she’d hate to rush in the morning. As the train slowed to a stop and the doors opened, she walked out and kept her phone in her hand for directions. She passed by a row of cherry blossom trees along the way and enjoyed the petals fluttering through the air, similar to the ones she would pass when she walked to school during the Spring. She smiled at the sight. A few stores selling food were open as well. Hopefully, she’ll be able to eat in one of them one day. The food smelled delicious as she passed by.

When she arrived, she was amazed at how expansive the campus was. The schools in Miyagi she toured paled in comparison to this one. Her eyes explored and familiarized her surroundings. She’d be studying here for the next 4 years, she might as well get used to it. The campus itself had a minimalist feel encapsulated in nature. The buildings itself were simple, but the trees and flowers that were planted made it less bland to look at. She knew before coming here that the student body would be large but seeing only numbers didn’t account for the feeling of actually being in the student body. It was unfamiliar territory for her and she would definitely have to get used to it; she went to an all-girls’ school, a fairly average-sized one. She sweated at the thought of having to put a front in order to make friends—she'd just have to deal with it when she got there.

By the time Amanai made it to her lecture hall, despite waking up early, it seemed like everyone else got there earlier than she did. It was a big room; if all the seats were filled, it could probably fill a good 75 people, Amanai observed. There were clusters of people who had already asserted themselves into groups of friends which gave her a tinge of jealousy. Just a tinge. All of the seats near the front—which was where she preferred to sit—were already taken, and the only spare seats were at the back. She pursed her lips and trudged along.

As she made her way up, she caught sight of a familiar face at the farthest back corner of the room; a guy with curly hair and a face mask on, disinterestedly tapping at his phone while waiting for class to start. Like he sensed Amanai's gaze, he locked eyes with her. Kiyoomi Sakusa.

* * *

It was Niiyama's match-point; they only needed one more point to win their quarter-final match against Dainohara Gakuen. One point. One point. Amanai repeated in her head 10 times over. That was all she could think of when she heard her teammate serve the ball behind her. She didn't pick up the sounds from the audience; all she could hear were the squeaking of sneakers, outbursts of "Nice serve!" from her teammates, and the beating of her own heart. She watched as the ball flew over her head and stepped forward in sync with the rest of her team. The ball was received perfectly by their libero—impressive, considering it was late game—and caught by their setter, who set to their spiker on Amanai's left. Two of Niiyama's blockers jumped up in defense, forcing the spiker to land a straight right into their own libero's arms.

This one was her's. She could feel it. Once the ball landed into her teammate's hands, Amanai stepped towards the net and jumped, her right arm ready to swing. She followed the ball as it flew towards her, but before she made contact with it, she noticed the sudden surge of pressure coming from the other side of the net. There were three blockers in her way. They were trying to kill block her.

In an act of quick thinking, she lightly tapped the ball over their towering hands. Considering she was tall herself, it was an easy feat. She saw the look on the blockers' face as she returned to the ground.

She thought she had done it. Their one point.

However, before she knew it, she saw the ball being launched back up behind the blockers she had just overcome. Their libero, once again, came in behind the blockers to save the ball. In an instant, what was once a slow-motion play began to pick up the pace, to the point where by the time she realized what had happened, the opposing setter tossed to Amanai's left again and the spiker landed their shot. It was a decisive break for Dainohara.

For the first time, she noticed the booming sound of the crowd erupting in cheers; she couldn't hear herself anymore. Amanai glanced at the scoreboard. 27 to 27. Okay, Kanoka. you still got this. Don't falter now. She readied her stance, preparing for a heavy serve from Dainohara's setter, whose serve was notorious for being difficult to receive. It had a certain spin to it that if someone angled it wrong, it would spiral out of control. She tried to calm her nerves, focusing on the sounds of sneakers, the "nice serves!", her heart. She watched as the ball flew from the setter's hand and slammed across the net. Directly at her.

She stepped back to get a good angle, bracing herself for impact. The perfect spot, the perfect time, yet the ball refused to land perfectly in her arms. The ball curved ever so slightly, hitting only her right arm, and spiraled away from the court. Confused, she turned around to see the ball touch the ground. Oh no.

Once again, the cheers disrupted her focus and the whistle blew, ringing into her ears of her mistake. She was really freaking out now; her hands were shaking, her vision blurred, and her breathing hitched. It had been a while since she had felt this jittery, it was scary and exhilarating. The rest of Niiyama must have taken noticed and rushed to her side. "Are you alright, Kanoka?" the captain asked, followed by the others who displayed similar concern. "Yes, I'm fine." Amanai turned to the net, focusing on Dainohara's setter. The whistle blew once more, and everyone got into their positions.

The setter aimed for her, to which Amanai expected so. She wouldn't—she couldn't—allow herself to make the same mistake again. Her eyes followed the ball as it came towards her and shifted her arms when she noticed the ball curve like last time. But once again, she lost control of it, and it flung her arm away, forcing its way towards the back of the court. And with that, the match was over. It ended as fast as it started.

It was a heartbreaking defeat for Niiyama Joshi. After leaving the gymnasium, they all made their way to the changing room, heads hanging. A couple of them were crying, comforting each other with hugs and pats on the back. Amanai didn't cry. As much as it pained in her heart, she couldn't get the tears behind her eyes to come out. It was frustrating. So frustrating. Her nerves got the best of her, and what could have been multiple chances to come back, ended up in failure. She knew that her serve receives were bad, and Dainohara must have known. It must have been why they targeted her; they knew her weaknesses and took advantage of them.

Amanai was the first one to leave the changing room while the rest of Niiyama were still inside. She stood outside, leaning against the wall near the entrance of the tournament stadium. She hoped that the January chill would numb her enough to forget the tingling in her arms from the match. She stared at her shoes, shifting her weight from one to the other. She was always told never to look at the ground; stand proud and confident because she was tall and had a good figure. But her height seemed to have failed her despite that. She felt closer to the ground than she did the sky.

“Kanoka Amanai.”

The sound of her name being called—not by one of her teammates, but a guy?—startled her, snapping her back to reality. She noticed shoes in front of her own and looked up to match a face with the voice. Her eyes widened. "Itachiyama's Ace?" When did she get the attention of one of the top 3 aces in the country?

"Kiyoomi Sakusa." He corrected. Another guy peered over Sakusa's shoulder, but didn't bother to introduce himself. Sakusa didn't seem to pay any mind to him either. He continued. "I saw the last part of your match today." Amanai’s breathing hitched. So he saw that. Her face faltered at the mere mention of it but she plastered on a smile with furrowed brows that meant otherwise.

"It... was a close one." Was all she could muster. For some reason, her eyes decided now would be a great time to let the waterworks out, but she forced herself against it. She couldn’t, not in front of someone.

"Even if it was your loss, you should know what you need to work on." He paused. "You have potential, Amanai."

Amanai blinked. It was an honor that the Kiyoomi Sakusa decided to talk to her of all people. She heard that he wasn't the type of person to talk to people he didn't know openly, yet here he was. Comforting her. Before she could say anything to respond, he was already walking away. Only the guy who was behind him was left in his place. He had an aura that completely contrasted Sakusa’s.

"Hi! Name's Motoya Komori, Kiyoomi's cousin." They were... cousins? "Sorry, he just came out of nowhere and startled you. I was surprised to see him walk up to you as well. He's not... the extraverted type. I remember we were watching the rest of the matches today after we lost our quarter-final match.”

“You guys lost? But—“

“Yeah...” Komori scratched the back of his neck. “It was a real let down. Our captain got hurt too. But it’s alright, we’ll make it through next time.” He clenched his hand in a fist and grinned. Amanai laughed for the first time. “Anyways, Kiyoomi must have noticed you while we were watching. I thought he wasn’t even paying attention—"

His train of thought was interrupted by Sakusa calling out for him to hurry up, to which he replied with a "Coming!" He faced Amanai again. "Well, Kiyoomi calls! Take it the best way you can, he means good. I'll be leaving now, but I hope we see each other again someday, Kanoka-chan."

And with that, he sprinted off with a wave, leaving Amanai alone to her thoughts once again. She recalled what Sakusa said to her. You have potential. People have always said she had potential in volleyball, but coming from him in a time where she doubted herself made her chest warm.

* * *

"Kiyoomi Sakusa-san?" Amanai called out as she approached his side, barely audible above all the chatter from the rest of the class. She had her hand up in a little wave. "Hi, I don't know if you remember me-"

"Kanoka Amanai. Niiyama's Ace." He replied monotonously, looking back at his phone.

"Ah, yes!" When she was in her third year, she rose to her status as an ace. Wait, we didn't talk in our third year, how did he know? "Um, is it alright if I sit here? All the seats in the front row were taken, and I don't know anyone familiar here..." She awkwardly smiled. From the parts of Sakusa's face that weren't covered by his mask, she saw his brows furrow as he glanced at her.

"A seat across." He compromised. Before she could reply, he put his bag in the seat directly beside him, preventing her from sitting in it. She decided it would have to do, and stepped back to the next seat over, where she removed her own bag and placed it in her lap. Amanai took out her fresh notebook and pen and set it on the table. She stole a glimpse at Sakusa, who didn't pay her any attention, and simply continued scrolling through his phone like their conversation never happened. It was odd. With her hand to her chin, she tapped her pen on the table waiting for the professor to come in.

Not too long later, she got what she asked for. The professor walked in with a greeting, setting her materials on the table in the front of the room. While in the middle of her introduction, the door opened and a student walked in.

"S-Sorry, I'm late!" he said, bowing and catching his breath.

The professor waved their hand in reassurance. "You're excused, it's the first day of class. However, if you're late again... there will be punishments."

"Yes!" The student scanned the room looking for a seat while the professor continued. He spotted a seat next to Amanai and made his way up the stairs, plopping right next to her. She watched him nod as a greeting and she nodded in response. She quickly noticed the instance he sat down that—

He smelled. Bad.

Amanai suspected he must have run here, and that the smell was due to all the sweat. She could tell, judging by how he was heaving in his seat like he was still catching his breath and it looked like he had just run a mile. Amanai could barely concentrate on what she was writing; she wanted to pass out. For a moment, she contemplated just leaving, but she reasoned that it would be rude to both him and to the class. She stretched her sleeve over her hand and covered her nose and mouth to make do. It didn’t make much of a difference, but at least she could smell her faded laundry detergent.

Sakusa must have noticed too, considering how his eyes narrowed in disgust. He turned his head to the source of the smell and quickly noticed Amanai’s agony. Sakusa tapped her shoulder with his pen, causing her to turn around, and lifted his bag from the seat it was occupying. Amanai was slightly confused at the gesture, and raised an eyebrow at him. He simply tilted his head, signaling her permission to sit beside him instead of where she currently was. Taking up his offer in an instant, she pushed her notebook and carried her bag to the next seat over, gently sitting down in relief. She removed her sleeve from her face and breathed. The smell of sweat still lingered, but it was a mass improvement from being directly beside the guy.

She noticed Sakusa rummaging through his bag beside her, and turned to watch what he was doing. He took out a smaller bag inside and opened it. It was filled with sanitary items: wipes, tissues, disinfectant spray, hand sanitizer. He just carries this around with him all the time? He pulled an unopened, packaged mask from the bag and handed it to her. Her eyes bounced between the mask and Sakusa.

Amanai pointed at herself, whispering, "Is this for me?"

He deadpanned. "Do you want it or no?"

She accepted it, opening it up, putting the wrapper in her pocket, and immediately put it on. She sighed. She could finally focus on what the professor was talking about and what she was writing without her nose being stifled. She was surprised that Sakusa was willing to help her. Just before, he was keeping his distance from her, telling her to sit a seat away from him. Now he gave up his... bag's... seat and gave her a face mask.

The rest of class went relatively smoothly from there. When the professor dismissed class, everyone packed up their things and shuffled towards the exit. Some people went out in a group, others went alone. She noticed that there were even some clusters that lingered in their seats to talk to each other before they had to travel to their next class. Amanai noticed that the guy that was beside her had already left, and she started packing up to leave while there were still people walking out. She rose from her seat and looked back at Sakusa, who had already packed up, but had no intention of leaving.

"You... aren't coming?" Amanai inquired and tilted her head.

"I'm waiting for everyone else to leave." He responded.

"Oh." She stood, fiddling with the hem of her sleeve before sitting back down in her seat next to Sakusa. She made sure to adjust her mask, which she still had on, just in case.

"...What are you doing?"

"Keeping you company. I have some time to kill before my next class." Seeing as he made no refute to her presence, she continued. "Oh, thanks for the seat and mask. You saved me there."

"I could smell it from here. I figured it was worse beside him."

She laughed. "It really was. I thought I was going to pass out."

"Hopefully he doesn't sit there again. However, considering how he was late this time, it wouldn't surprise me that he would be late the next time."

"Oh no... not again..." She agonized the thought of having to deal with the smell every other day. "If he does, do you mind if I... sit here again?"

Sakusa hesitated to analyze her. Of course, there were definitely other places she could sit in other than the one right beside him. But Amanai was a relatively clean person; she never put her bag on the ground, she kept the mask wrapper in her pocket, and she still wore the mask when speaking to him, even though the guy left. He didn't mind her being a seat closer. He turned away from her gaze, standing up to put on his bag after realizing that most of the room was empty. "...Only if."

Amanai smiled underneath her mask and made her way across the aisle of chairs and down the stairs, Sakusa following not too far behind. Before going past the door, she waited for Sakusa to catch up, and they walked down the hall side by side before separating to go to their next classes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW. How was that? Thanks for reading this far! hope you enjoyed it. Kanoka's new experience in Tokyo will definitely be... an interesting one. Sakusa has some stuff going on with him, and perhaps you'll get to see hints of it next chapter, which will be Sakusa-centric!
> 
> I did _a lot _of research on Japanese college life, and even went as far as to search up Japanese apartments and railway lines for reference so I could visualize the setting better. Hopefully it all pays off!__


	2. where to go, what to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things even Sakusa finds troublesome, but words save him. Even though the owner of those words has no idea. 
> 
> _"I hope to be able to continue playing and learning, and maybe then once I’m satisfied, I’ll decide whether or not I want to continue pursuing that path or pave a new one." ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa-centric this time! Ya know, Sakusa's a really interesting character and despite not knowing much about him, it was really fun to write from his perspective! Just like Kanoka, he has his own things going for him.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

It was the Spring Interhigh Finals of Sakusa’s last year. The moment he walked into the gymnasium, there were eyes on him: from the crowd, the press, the opposing teams, his own teammates. Throughout his volleyball career, there have always been eyes on him; it wasn’t unusual, and he didn’t particularly pay much attention to it either. However, this time—this final time—it felt different. Win or lose, he wanted to end his last tournament of his third year with no regrets. At least having come this far to make it to the last match, his work and dedication to the sport would not be in vain.

When he announced that he would be quitting volleyball after high school, the whole Japanese Volleyball Community went rampant. News titles on Monthly Volleyball and sports broadcasts on television like _“Top Ace Leaves Volleyball Behind? What happens next?!”_ and _“What Would Life without Volleyball be for Sakusa Kiyoomi?”_ spread like wildfire. He didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if he left, but he had underestimated his popularity and his position as one of the Top Three Aces in the country. Every time reporters would find him at camps or tournaments since then would bombard him with questions, expecting him to spill all the tiny details to ease their hunger for information, and every time he would decline to speak. Many people assumed it was because he had grown tired of the game, or found interest in something else.

___That wasn’t the case, however. The real reason... was pitiful, to say the least. More than he hated others getting pitied, Sakusa hated when people pitied him. If he had to be honest, the basis for his decision was purely on uncertainty. Uncertain of what lay ahead of him. Uncertain if he was happy with the life he led so far. Uncertain if he made the right choices. Uncertain of the consequences of the bad ones. Uncertain if volleyball was the right choice for him. Uncertain what he would do without it. It was these thoughts that piled upon his mind, silently bearing through them._ _ _

___In the end, after weighing his options, he decided to dedicate himself to his studies, as it was in his best interest to do so. He would follow in his parents' and siblings’ footsteps to being a successful college student and find a stable job. Doing so required that he gauge his focus on his studies, and studies alone. As much as it was a sacrifice to doing so—he was essentially giving up all the time and work he’s been giving for the past three years—, it was the safest route in the long run. That was why he valued this last match of his so much._ _ _

___That final match, the Tokyo Metropolitan Gym lights beamed on him and the court. If he looked directly up, surely they would blind him. But instead, he fixed his gaze at the volleyball, gracefully flying through the air as if not a care in the world. In the air, the ball was free of any contact; no one to force their palm against it, no one to redirect its path. But the terrible fate of this ball, one that it cannot deny, was that no matter what, it will always come back down. Within the span of the ball's time in the air, each side of the court desires a different outcome from it and would do whatever course of action to fulfill that desire. One side has the intention of saving the ball, keeping it up for as long as possible. The other desires for it to hit the floor with precision and haste. Between that ongoing dilemma is the ball, subjected to the will of those who toss it around. When the ball's fate is enacted, that is what determines the winner and loser of the game._ _ _

___It was a stretch to connect the two, but in his mind, he compared this volleyball to people. Having a certain amount of freedom in the air—happiness, or fulfillment, he could argue—but with the dreading reality that things will go downhill eventually. In that moment of declination, there will be people who will want you to hit the floor, or perhaps are too far away to reach you. However, there will also be people who will want to save you, to keep going. And if that someone is there, anticipating, then you have another chance to move forward. Those people are the ones you meet as you grow. It was just the walk of life._ _ _

___Like any other person, Sakusa had his own fair share of ups and downs. But unlike most, when in his descent, no one dared to help him out their own accord. Perhaps it was his image that he gave off, or maybe his own pride, he didn’t quite know. If his life was indeed a volleyball, then the people on the court wouldn’t touch the ball, wouldn’t save it, in fear of dirtying it. And so, he was left to be the one to save himself, playing alone. At first, it was difficult to control the way he wanted his life to go, but with enough repetition to establish order, he managed to take a hold of it. Since then, he has managed everything to his perfection and thus rendering everyone else unable to keep up with him. However, he hated to admit it, but there would be times where his stamina would fail him and he found it strenuous to keep going. It was at these moments where he could hear the faint voices of the people who have impacted him shout from the sidelines. People like Iizuna, Ushijima, or Komori. He’s never seen them on the court with him before, in fact, no one has, but he settled with just hearing their voice. And that was typically enough for him to keep going._ _ _

* * *

___It was Kamomedai’s win in that final match with Itachiyama, deeming them the champions of the Spring Interhigh Tournament. It was a close match between the two powerhouse schools, seeing as they prolonging the match all the way to the fifth set. However, when it came to stamina, which was crucial that far into the game, they had to give it to Kamomedai. It was a hard-earned win on their part, and Sakusa watched as they celebrated their victory with sweaty hugs and laughter. He cringed at the sweaty part. As he told himself earlier, whether it be win or lose, the outcome for him would be all the same. He glanced at his own hands and arms, red from the number of times he spiked and received. This was the last time he’d feel this tingly sensation on his skin._ _ _

___He glanced at the rest of his teammates, whose heads hung low and eyes welled up. He didn’t blame them for feeling disappointed and upset; in a time like this, it was easy to put the blame on themselves for whatever reason it may be. However, it wasn’t their fault, nor was it anyone else. He’d have to somehow relay that to them when they get back. Komori and the other third years tried their best to console the younger ones, patting their backs and striking up laughter, but even they started to feel emotional as their voices started to falter behind their smiles. Sakusa ushered everyone to line up like the other team. Everyone bowed with one final, “Thank you for the game!” and handshakes as per endgame rules before they made their way off the court. He stayed on the sidelines for a minute, and with one final glance, he turned and stepped out._ _ _

___“Hey, Kiyoomi.” Sakusa saw his cousin standing, waiting for him. He handed him a clean towel to wipe the sweat. Komori was on the verge of tears. “You know, unlike you, this isn’t going to be my final match.”_ _ _

___They started walking side by side towards where the rest of the team was regrouped ahead. He noticed that no reporters or press walked up to him this time. Perhaps it’s because they had already gotten over Sakusa Kiyoomi, and focused on their next victim for _Rising Star Athlete._ “Yeah, and?”___

_____“Remember what Iizuna-san said last year? _‘...One day I’ll play my last game… and you’d better believe I’m gonna finish that one with a smile!’_ ” He mocked in Iizuna’s voice and Sakusa deadpanned. “That?”___ _ _

_______“What about it?” He inquired._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Well, I don’t see you smiling or looking anything like being satisfied, even though this is your last game.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I don’t think going out with a smile or ending with a victory is particularly necessary for me to feel satisfied, Komori.” It was true. Both would be nice, of course._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I guess that’s true— Hey look.” Komori pointed to the far off. Sakusa followed his hand’s direction. “It’s Kanoka-chan! Let’s go say hi, I heard Niiyama won the Women’s Tournament.” Sakusa raised an eyebrow at the sudden request but followed him. Before they could get to her though, a reporter and a cameraman rushed past them and into Amanai’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Ms. Amanai Kanoka! A word for the press?” the loud reporter called out. More than Sakusa and Komori were startled, Amanai looked like a deer in a headlight. Komori tugged Sakusa to the side, intending to listen in to their conversation. At this point, Sakusa didn’t know why they were doing this and beyond anything, he just wanted to leave. More and more people were coming down from the bleachers and he was getting claustrophobic. He was about to refute him when Komori shut him up with a shush. Sakusa rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, Komori to his left._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Ah, uhm, yes!” Amanai stuttered._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Without a second to waste, the reporter started pounding her with praise and questions. “That was an amazing spike in your final rally earlier today! A thrilling win for Niiyama Joshi! How do you feel?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“O-Oh, it feels amazing!” Amanai’s eyes darted between the camera and the microphone held out in front of her. “To have gone out knowing that I've managed to win it all with my team is a feeling I'll never forget!" A couple of her teammates came up behind her with a hug and their collective laughter rang around them. They mumbled something to her before moving behind the camera, out of its focus._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Brimming with confidence, I see!” Amanai awkwardly laughed. “Now, you’re a third year, correct? Considering how you’re Niiyama’s Ace with a reputation preceding you, what are your plans for the future?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“My future…? Hmm… Well, I know for a fact that I will be going to a university! I’m excited!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Of course, that wasn’t an answer the reporter wanted exactly, so they inquired further. “What about pertaining to volleyball?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Amana took a moment to think before responding. “Hmm… Well, there are still things I want to do with volleyball. People I want to meet. Places I want to see. I still want to practice and train with a little more rigor in my step while I’m still young, you know? Not everyone has the opportunity to have made it this far, and frankly, it feels like a dream that I was lucky enough to be here. In college, I hope to be able to continue playing and learning, and maybe then once I’m satisfied, I’ll decide whether or not I want to continue pursuing that path or pave a new one.” She paused to recollect herself, then laughed it off. “Or… something like that!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“My… such a mature answer from Ms. Amanai!” The reporter turned to the camera. “Well, there you have it folks, first-hand from Niiyama’s Ace! Japan can’t wait to see where you go from here. Thank you for your time.” Amanai smiled and waved at the camera and her teammates ushered her off in the other direction, praising how she handled the press before their voices faded off._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Aw man, Kanoka-chan left…” Komori pouted. “Kiyoomi?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Sakusa was quiet. He internalized Amanai’s words. Just like her, there were still things he wanted to do with volleyball. He still wanted to train and practice. He still hadn’t settled a score with Ushijima. He didn’t experience the epiphany Iizuna had. Why did he give up so easily? If volleyball truly was something he wanted to continue doing, regardless of the stress or the workload or the people arguing against it, he should by all means still do it. It was his passion after all._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______He wasn’t satisfied. Not at all. Not like this._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Kiyooooomi?” Komori waved his hand in front of Sakusa's face, snapping him back to reality. “You good?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“...Yes, I’m fine.” He pressed his forehead. He suddenly had a headache. “Let’s go back to the others.” Perhaps he was going to rethink his decision._ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

_______He didn’t want to admit it, but he’d have to owe it to Amanai. Now that he thought about it, he should be blaming her for all his misfortune and stress he’s had for the past few months. If it wasn’t for her, then he probably wouldn’t have second-guessed himself that day at the Spring Interhigh, ruining his plans for which university to go to, what he wanted to do, and completely taking back his decision to end his volleyball career. But he didn’t really have the heart to put that on her. And he probably wouldn’t be standing in front of the gymnasium doors with the intention of joining the university’s team at the tip of his tongue._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Sakusa?” He turned around. Speak of the devil. Amanai had a tracksuit on and a bag that hung around her torso. She adjusted the mask on her face. “Why are you here?” Before Sakusa could give a response, she gasped and pointed at him. “Are you here to join the volleyball team?! I thought you were quitting after high school!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Don’t point. It’s rude.” Amanai put her hand down behind her back. “That... was the plan, but things happened, and I changed my mind thanks to—”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______There was an awkward pause. “...Thanks to who?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______He stared into Amanai’s eyes, which were brimming with curiosity. He turned his head to break eye contact and mentally slapped himself. _Ah, this was difficult._ “Nevermind. Don’t worry about it.”___ _ _ _ _

_________“Oh… m’kay!” Sakusa opened the door, letting Amanai enter first before letting himself in. Amanai continued. “You know, I would think that you of all people would join a professional team or something… In fact, a lot of people expected you to do so before you announced you were quitting. I’m sure you could make it!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“I think it’d be more convenient to stay at the collegiate level, for now, considering that I’d like to focus on my studies as well.” He paused. “Then perhaps afterward I’ll decide whether to continue or not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Hmm…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Weird, I feel like I’ve said something like that before…” _It’s because you have—_ “But either way, I guess we’re in the same position! I look forward to seeing you more at games, Mr. Ace.” She smiled.___ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Sakusa smiled back. “Yeah.” _Ms. Ace.____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA I loved writing this??? The metaphors?? Immaculate. (Even though my brain really was racking up this past week tryna figure those out *o*) 
> 
> The past two chapters have been mostly introductory chapters to lead up to the rest of the story, so like, getting to know Kanoka and Sakusa as their own and then tying their personal stories into one another later on! I'll assure you the next chapters are going to be allllll ominai and I'm excited to _finally _get to write all the fluff i want >:)__
> 
> Oh yeah!!! Thank you to my beta reader @cmlstwt on Twitter!!! You’re amazing ily~


	3. time and routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa and Amanai grow closer in the coming months. As Amanai puts a front against the stress that builds up, it's Sakusa who sees through it. 
> 
> _“It’s those small consistencies that ground you and keep you from getting ahead of yourself.” ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooots of ominai content this chapter!! Kind of switching perspectives, but it's mostly on Amanai! 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

As he felt his body press against the seat barrier he had laid his head on when the train slowed to a stop, Sakusa blinked his eyes open groggily, wincing at the bright sunlight that flooded his face through the window across from him. He didn’t quite appreciate that the first thing that occurred to him after regaining consciousness was being blinded by the morning sun, grumbling under his mask at the realization that the day was _only _starting. He would be thankful that he was the only one in the car at the time, but just before he could complain more, the doors opened and a few people walked in, just as exasperated as he was having to start their day off so early. Sakusa glanced at the electric sign above him, flashing between _“Current Stop: Hirayamajōshi-kōen Station” _and _“6:25 AM” _.______

_____ _

______Hirayamajōshi-kōen Station, _Sakusa thought. _Ah. _He turned his head beside him after noticing a shift in the atmosphere. He caught eye contact with Amanai as she speed-walked through the train doors, barely making it before they closed behind her. She smiled and waved, as she made her way over, sitting down beside him. “Hey, it looks like you just woke up. You look awful.” Amanai remarked, placing her bag on her lap and getting comfortable in her seat._________

_______ _ _ _

_________“Good morning to you too, Amanai.” Sakusa stifled a yawn, Amanai stifled a laugh. “Wake me up when we get there?” He didn’t give her a chance to respond before resting his head back against the seat barrier and closing his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_________“Not even going to entertain a conversation with me? How mean.” She pouted. Her eyebrows furrowed as she gazed at Sakusa, already sleeping soundly. “Fine.” She said with a huff and pressed the back of her head against the window, pulling out her phone to pass the time and to stay awake from the hypnotic hum of the train moving._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_________It certainly wasn’t the first time they’ve had an exchange like that on a train, so early in the morning. In fact, a month ago, Amanai didn’t even know Sakusa rode the same train line, and neither did Sakusa himself. The two of them had vastly different morning routines—Sakusa was more of an early bird than Amanai, and would get up as early as his body could afford to avoid the infamous Tokyo rush hour—so before then, their paths never crossed. It wasn’t until morning volleyball training at the ripe time of 7:00 AM became a requirement and Amanai had to force her night owl self to get up earlier than usual. It just so happened she noticed that familiar face when she walked into a nearly empty train car one day; being able to sit next to him definitely was something to look forward to when waking up early. It was a good thing for her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_________It was also a good thing for Sakusa as well (although he would never admit that in his life). Waking up so early came at the cost of his own sleep schedule. It was always the case, even in high school. Itachiyama was 35 minutes from the nearest station to his house, so even then he woke up at the break of dawn. Since there wouldn’t be many people in the first half of his trip, he’d take the opportunity to close his eyes, even if it was only for a short period. Once people started to fill the car though, he’d wake and move to the corner of the car, secluding himself in a tiny social bubble and glaring at anyone who came near. His trips to university didn’t take nearly as long but were still the same gist._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_________Ever since Amanai started sitting next to him, however, he didn’t have to worry too much about it anymore. She would enter around the middle of his route, at the time where most people came in. With her to his left, the seat fence to his right, and his bag in front of him, he was perfectly protected on all sides. And with that to reassure him, he could get the most out of his train naps until Amanai would tug at his sleeve to signal it was their stop._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_________Their walks from _Tama-Dobutsukoen Station _to the gymnasium for morning training at first were mostly in silence. It was a bit awkward for the both of them since before then, they’d only talk for a few minutes on campus in class or after practice. This was a little different from those instances. More personal and intimate, in a friendly way at least. As time passed, however, they slowly opened up about the mundane things: what they had for dinner the other night, their home routines on the weekend, the loud neighbor beside Amanai’s apartment, the dog that Sakusa would pass by on his way to his station. Amanai would comment on Sakusa’s habits, like his most observable trait of being a germaphobe or the smaller things like how he had the tendency to mess with his nails when he was disinterested. Sakusa noticed a few things about Amanai as well, like how she tended to stand behind him when it would get crowded or how she had a nasty glare that was on par with his own when she was pissed off. Sakusa never told these things to her, and would instead simply play along and banter against her. If they had some time to spare or there wasn’t any practice, they’d stop by a convenience store along the way to grab a bite before continuing.___________

_________ _ _ _ _ _

___________At the end of the day, they’d meet up at the station around sundown, talking about their day while waiting behind the yellow line for their train to come. It didn’t happen all the time, of course, with assignments and other plans that came first. Never did they hold it against each other if one of them couldn’t make it; they were adults with responsibilities before anything else. A simple text—most of them a one-liner like, _“I’m heading home early.” _from Sakusa or _“Have things I need to do, see you tomorrow!” _from Amanai—to keep each other updated sufficed, and they went on with their day._______________

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________University life didn’t offer much opportunity to build a routine; there were always assignments due the next day, group meetups for projects, practice matches, camps, tournaments, even social outings (if they had time for that). But for Amanai and Sakusa, it was these brief meetings—where Amanai would meet an exhausted Sakusa, where they’d walk to the gymnasium at the break of dawn, where they’d laugh and banter with each other along the way, or revel in comfortable silence—that became the calm before and after the storm of a day they’d had._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________After afternoon practice one day, Sakusa noticed that Amanai was oddly quiet; unlike the normal silence between them, she was unusually tense. He figured it was due to the All-Japan Intercollegiate Volleyball Championship coming in a few weeks. Their coaches decided to ramp up the schedule, conditioning both the women's and men’s teams to their stamina’s end. Coupling that with the work that was piling up from both of their classes didn’t make for the best combination for their stress levels. For Sakusa, he just wanted to go home and rest after finishing the work he needed to do for his classes, but it seemed like Amanai had something else in mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“I think,” Amanai started as they both sat down in their usual seat on the train, Sakusa up against the end of the seat row and Amanai beside him, “I’m going to practice more.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________She had that look in her eyes _, Sakusa thought. The look that every dedicated volleyball player, including himself, had when they fell a level deeper into the sport. She stared almost lifelessly at the food under her like it had offended her in some way, clutching her bag tighter by the second. _It’s probably her receives. _He’d known he had always had trouble with her receives, ever since high school. Amanai admitted to it herself. For someone who strived to be a well-rounded player such as Amanai, it was only natural that she’d want to improve on an important skill like receiving. But the cost of wanting that was what concerned Sakusa the most about what Amanai said.___________________

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“And you’re telling me this because…?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Oh—” She turned to face Sakusa, snapping back to reality and regaining that bubbliness of hers. “It just means I’m probably not going to be riding the train with you in the afternoons for a while. After the Championships it’ll go back to normal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“Ah. I see.” He stayed quiet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“What, are you going to be sad without me?” she playfully pouted, suppressing a laugh. Sakusa scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“In your dreams.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________But every morning since then, Amanai wasn’t the same. When Sakusa would wake up from his train nap at _Hirayamajōshi-kōen Station, _he’d watch as Amanai would walk in, dragging her feet and heavily plopping down beside him with a sigh. Upon further inspection of her condition, he observed the prominent bags under her eyes that formed only recently and her complexion becoming paler. It would worsen every passing day. Just as he had feared. But he wasn’t sure exactly what she was doing that caused her to look like a zombie that hadn’t eaten in a week._____________________

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Are you alright?” He finally inquired, hoping to get something to piece together the full situation from her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Yup… Perfectly fine.” Sakusa wasn’t convinced in the slightest. He sighed into his mask and furrowed his brows. “Fine, maybe I’m a bit tired. And sore.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Take a rest and ask to skip out of morning training for today.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Amanai seemed to have woken up from that with an outburst. “What?! No, I can’t do that…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________He crossed his arms and broke eye contact. “Then start taking care of yourself.” He gently pushed the back of Amanai’s head, burying her head into the bag on her lap. “Now rest.” She wanted to object but didn’t have the energy or the mental fortitude to go up against Sakusa. The simple gesture was enough for her to pass out within a few seconds before Sakusa tapped her shoulder 15 minutes later to leave._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________It was like they switched positions; usually, it was Sakusa who would be sleeping until they got off, but instead, it was her. Sakusa didn’t mind it though, he knew she needed the rest, and was more than happy to give it to her. Although Amanai did appreciate it, she could only wish a little nap could alleviate all the stress she put on herself. Every day she came in looking worse than the previous day, she could feel the glare from Sakusa piercing her side. He was concerned—maybe a little too concerned—and she could sense that he was going to do something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Her hunch was right, but it wasn’t as she expected._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________A week before the championships, Amanai and her team had just come back from a practice match at another university and were heading towards the gym from their bus. Amanai was walking next to one of her closest teammates, who happened to be Rino Hibiki, the setter for Dainohara, the school that defeated her in the semi-finals in her second year. It was a surprise to Amanai, and originally, she was too shy to approach her, especially because of the amount of confidence and ego she emitted, but after being forced to work together as setter and spiker, they got along surprisingly well. When she wasn’t with Sakusa during the day or when she was off-campus for matches, she'd be with Rino, talking about random things that popped into their heads._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Ah, Kanoka, are you going to be staying afterward again today?” Rino asked, her hands in her pockets to warm them. It was getting kind of chilly since it was nearing the end of November._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Yeah, just for maybe half an hour or a bit more. Since we missed classes today, I want to catch up on some work that’s due.” Instinctively, gripped her right shoulder and rotated it a bit. She could feel a tinge of soreness from when she strained it a little during their match. It wasn’t a huge injury, she convinced herself, just overexertion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Mind if I join you? It’s still, what, 5-ish? I got some time before I have to head home anyway.” A couple of her other teammates chimed in, asking to tag along._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________She laughed. “Sure, why not—”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Sorry, she won’t be joining you all today.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Amanai whipped her head around at the sound of a familiar voice interrupted her. A few teammates stopped to turn. “S-Sakusa?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Oh, it’s the boyfri—” Rino started, but Amanai slapped her hand over her mouth to shut her up. _Not a word, _she said under her breath, and Rino nodded._______________________

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________“I’m accompanying her home. Let’s go.” He started walking off in the direction of their usual path back to the station but paused to wait for her decision._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________Glancing between her team and Sakusa, she panicked to make a decision. Rino removed Amanai’s hand from her mouth. “You should go, I’ll tell Coach, no worries. Plus, I was wondering when you’ll take a break from all the overtime practice.” She smirked. “You owe me, so tell me about how it goes later.” She waved goodbye and ushered the rest of the girls off, leaving Amanai and Sakusa there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________She trudged her way over to Sakusa’s side, pissed off and practically fuming. “Why are you here?! And why did you do that, In front of my team no less! Ugh, now I’ll never hear the end of it from Rino... “ She huffed. “I know what you’re thinking, you’re gonna tell me that I’m overexerting myself, that I’m not taking care of myself. Well, I know that! I’m letting you know now that I have everything under control, I don’t…” Her heart and breath was unsteady from suppressing her actual feelings behind her outburst. None of them actually having to do with Sakusa at all. She realized what she had done and hung her head, gazing at her shoes. “Sorry...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________Sakusa stayed silent the entire time, letting Amanai vent all her queries onto him. People often did this in front of him, like he was some sort of venting wall. Usually, he’d tune out, but he listened to Amanai. “It’s alright.” He closed his eyes to avoid looking at her directly. “I understand you’re stressed.” He handed her a water bottle from a plastic bag she didn’t know he was holding. “Let’s get you home.” She nodded, taking sips of water to calm down with Sakusa’s presence leading the way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________When Sakusa said he was going to _accompany her home _, she didn’t know he was actually serious. At Amanai’s stop, he followed her out without a word and let her lead the way. It didn’t take very long to walk from her station to her apartment. With a click of the key opening the lock on her door, she let him in first before she let herself. Sakusa greeted the small residence of hers with a _Pardon for the intrusion. ____________________________

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________“Sorry, it’s a little bit of a mess here for obvious reasons.” She hadn’t been able to fully clean her apartment other than the occasional dusting and wiping. Her bed was still unmade from the morning and her books and papers were scattered across the table that was against the wall. “It’s not usually like this, I swear.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________“You don’t need to worry about that.” He put down his bags, pulling out a pair of gloves from one of them. “Where are your cleaning supplies?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________She saw that gleam in his eyes that only happened when he cleaned. “Sakusa, no—” she sighed. “Second cabinet on the right. BUT!” Sakusa was startled. “Let me help.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________“It’s my apartment. Now give me some gloves.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________He hesitated. He didn’t really like when people cleaned alongside him, in fear of them leaving a smidge of dust or cleaning the wrong way, but indeed it was her apartment, so it was her territory. He scourged his bag for another pair of gloves and handed them to her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________Her apartment was small, so it shouldn’t have taken more than an hour for two people, but since it was Sakusa, he insisted on cleaning and even reorganizing her entire living space in order to get to every nook and cranny. When Amanai saw the time, she decided to let Sakusa continue while she started making dinner for both of them. She had a couple of leftovers from yesterday and decided to make _zosui _soup since it was the easiest. By the time she was done, she was convinced that her place was cleaner than when she initially bought it. Sakusa certainly looked satisfied once he finished. She set up bowls on the now clutter-free table and sat down, Sakusa across from her. They both said _Itadakimasu _and started digging in._______________________________

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________“Thank you, by the way. You really didn’t have to do all… this.” She motioned around her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________“...It’s hard to find consistency around this time.” He set down his bowl. “Events pile up, stress takes a hold of you... Most of those are out of your control. You may know all of that, but there’s very little you can do about it. So it’s important that the things that you do have control over—your health, your time—you take to your advantage. It’s those small consistencies that ground you and keep you from getting ahead of yourself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________He was right. She got ahead of herself, tunnel visioning into only benefiting herself, and ended up neglecting everything else around her. She sipped her soup and nodded slowly. “Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________“I came here to show you that. Do you see how different it feels to have a clean apartment?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________She chuckled and looked around. Her place smelled so nice, better than ever. “Mhm. Thank you again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________“Good.” He finished up his bowl and grabbed his bag. “Well, I'm going to go now. Thanks for having me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________"Anytime, I can take it from here! You're always welcome to stop by since you've helped me out so much now." She stood up from her seat and followed him to the door, watching him put on his shoes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________"I'll keep it in mind."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________Once he was out, she waved goodbye, and he nodded in return. She made sure he was out of her line of sight before closing and locking the door. She went back to the table to clean up the dishes when she found that Sakusa had left the plastic bag where he was sitting. She picked it up and opened it to see if it was anything important, and found a package of tuna onigiri inside. It was her favorite food._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________She smiled at the gesture, unwrapping it, and enjoyed the little onigiri._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW okay I basically rushed to get this out but lowkey I think this is one of my favorite chapters,,, finally I get to write the ominai fluff I wanted! Train scene,,, Sakusa visiting Amanai's apartment,,, You can tell they're catching feels by now ;) 
> 
> It’s really annoying that italics aren’t working for me right now :/ I’ll figure it out later,,,
> 
> Oh yeah I wanted to add Rino Hibiki because I made a design for her and I wanted to show at least that Kanoka's social life DOES NOT revolve around Sakusa!! I know ominai is cute but she has a life! That's one thing I like to keep in mind when writing these ships. So I'll probably continue adding other character interactions as well c:

**Author's Note:**

> With every new chapter, I also post some art that goes along with it (because I'm an artist too :3)! I post them all on my Twitter, so if you want to see 'em as they get posted or maybe you wanna see more ominai brainrot, I go by [@dulestric_](https://twitter.com/dulestric_)!
> 
> Chapters [1](https://twitter.com/dulestric_/status/1334619449777909761?s=20), [2](https://twitter.com/dulestric_/status/1337775440962998272?s=21), [3](https://twitter.com/dulestric_/status/1341185166497230849?s=20)


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